3 Secrets to Success for a Happy New NOW!

If you’ve ever wondered why success seems so “elusive” and so “way up there in the future” let me assure you that success is MUCH closer than you’d imagine! After helping several of my Life Coaching clients attain major personal goals in 2016 (and after reaching quite a few of my own) I discovered recurrent themes showing up over and over and over.  Here’s what I found to be three secrets to success…

#1    DO SOMETHING EVERYDAY TOWARD YOUR GOALS  – success is tied to consistency.  Everyday you must make a conscious decision to take an intentional and strategic action that advances you toward your goal!  It might be as simple as making your bed before you leave home so that you can return to a peaceful space at the end of the day or it might be calling a busy CEO until you connect with one who will agree to mentor you. Do something every single day and watch the efforts pay off.

#2   IMAGINE YOURSELF ALREADY SUCCESSFUL – use your imagination to enact what your success will look like once it manifests.  See yourself giving the successful speech at the major conference; envision yourself unlocking the door of your new office suite; imagine yourself presenting the scholarship check to a deserving youth.  Prepare for success by becoming comfortable with it in your mind.

#3   PAY ATTENTION TO DETAILS – respect what you say you want by attending to the details related to getting it.  When you meet someone new who is a relevant contact, take a few minutes within the next day or so to drop that person a thank you note.  Train your mind to listen attentively when others are speaking and to bring up details important to them when it’s time to do business with each other.  They’ll be impressed that you heard what they said. Go the extra mile when communicating by paying attention to details such as a person’s title, interests or preferred method of contact.  Details can differentiate you from others and positively cause you to be remembered.

Yes, it is a new year but more importantly… it’s a New NOW.  Enjoy each moment!

~ Dr. Sheryl L.W. Barnes   /  “Your Life…only Amazing!”



It’s good to see another Harvest!

november I am genuinely excited to welcome the month of November.  Even though 2016 seemed as if it zoomed by, the truth is, its been a great year of learning, meeting new people and navigating several new challenges.  But… what I’m most excited about is “gathering in the harvest” from seeds sown earlier in the year and the month of November makes me think of harvest.

What kind of harvest am I expecting? Since harvest always reflect seeds sown, the question is: what have I been sowing?  This year I made up my mind to be more intentional with making efforts to stretch socially and to go outside my comfort zone in exploring business opportunities. I sowed seeds of networking and following up after meeting really interesting people.  Some reciprocated but many did not. I’m grateful for the new relationships that have blossomed from those who did.  Continue reading

Could Changing Your Life REALLY Be that Simple?

hotair balloonWhile serving on a panel of women leaders recently it came time for the moderator to open up the panel discussion to questions from the audience. A young woman asked me specifically “how” does someone get to the place where they really believe that they will succeed. I’m paraphrasing her question but her point was “it’s great that you all are successful, confident women who have achieved much, but HOW did you change your mindset and remain consistent over time?” It was one of the last questions asked and I am SO grateful she addressed it to me! What I told her was that ‘how’ I have been able to persevere in spite of setbacks, disappointments, fear, ‘other people’s opinions of me & negative assumptions about my abilities’ is simple… I have made it a daily PRACTICE to do the following things:
(1) I go to Chapel everyday. Chapel happens to be a chair in my living room where I sit down and journal what I’m grateful for from the last 24 hours of my life.
(2) Also, while in Chapel, I spend time in prayer and Bible study. Key word here is “study.” I’ll spend days or weeks on a single verse to try to understand what it means for MY life!  I spend time in conversation with God.  I ask for wisdom; I ask for forgiveness and strength and I listen to His counsel.
(3) I SPEAK over my life… every… single… day! I declare and decree that I am healed; that my family members are blessed; that my corporation, ministry and marriage are favored.  I say ‘grace’ over my clients: “Lord, thank you for the clients I am about to receive!” I open my mouth and speak success over my professional and personal life.

Has it changed my life? Oh Lord YES!!! I feel grateful on a consistent basis and I feel hopeful that I am living with, on and in purpose. I find it easier to forgive others and MYSELF; easier to extend grace to others (and myself).  I am much more mindful of the gift of each day.  Success is not way up ahead… it’s in small efforts made each day.

Is it really that SIMPLE to change your life and your outlook? Yes. Begin by respecting the power of consistency. Every day say kind things about yourself to yourself. Every day pause to give thanks. Every day read and think about a spiritual truth. It IS that simple and YOU can do it.

Blessings!  ~ Dr. Sheryl L.W. Barnes

#DrSLWB   #LifeCoach   #Elevate2016   #NewSeason4You

5 Reasons to Attend a Royal VISION BOARD Retreat!

Royal VISION BOARD Retreat with meAs an experienced Life Coach, from time to time I offer what is titled “A Royal VISION Board Retreat.” Those who attend are encouraged to tap into the unique desires placed in their heart by God. Here are 5 reasons to seriously consider making an investment in honoring your God-given dreams by attending A Royal VISION BOARD Retreat with me!

 #1 You need to SEE what you’re pursuing! It is crazy, unproductive and a serious waste of time for you to expect to hit a goal you refuse to set. I’ve actually met people who set more goals related to what their friends and family want than what they themselves desire! You are not a robot or a drone. Your life is way too precious to not pursue your passion.

#2 Your thoughts influence your life! Research has shown that we move in the direction of our dominant thoughts. You’ve heard it said, “you are what you think you are,” and “as a man thinketh in his heart so is he.” Creating a VISION Board allows you to help focus your thinking in positive ways.

#3 When your heart speaks you need to transcribe! The deliberate act of listening to what’s in your heart and then ‘honoring’ what you hear is an act of courage, power and spiritual authority. There are all types of influences around you: cultural, historical, political, family and peers. The most important influence, however, ought to be what’s in your heart because it was placed there by God.

#4 Let what moves you, move you! When you select images, verses, key words, phrases, or photos that have personal meaning for you, you’ll find that every time you look at your VISION Board you’ll feel energized! Expect to be inspired and motivated.

#5 You may add to it or let it be! Because your Royal VISION BOARD is created by you, you can add to it or modify it any time you want. You can also leave it exactly as you created it as a reminder of what you once hoped for and achieved!

~ Dr. Sheryl L.W. Barnes, Life Coach – Author – Speaker

Sterling-Xavier Consulting Group

#DrSLWB     #ICoachRoyalty     #Elevate2015     #NewSeason4You

Don’t Let Others DUMP Garbage in Your Mind!

SOUL Secret #5   Stop All Negative Dumping into Your Mind!

illegal dumpingWhen family members, friends, co-workers or even your social media buddies insist on dumping all manner of depressing, bigoted, gossipy or mean-spirited garbage into your mind – don’t allow it! By far one of your greatest assets is your mind and it must be guarded with vigilance. Sure, everyone IS entitled to their opinion but that doesn’t mean they should have unlimited dumping rights in your mind.

When you find yourself in person-to-person conversations that are turning ugly, do all that you can to try to redirect the conversation. If that fails, flat-out announce that you aren’t comfortable talking about “So & So” but you will definitely keep him or her lifted up in prayer. Another tactic is to flee: get off the phone; excuse yourself to chat with someone else at the party; go to the bathroom; refresh your beverage – just find a way to get away.

Prepare yourself because others are usually offended when you no longer want to join them in bashing others or engaging in vitriolic diatribes, pity parties and complaint sessions. Too bad. Stop letting others pour their toxic waste materials into your mental garden if you expect to grow positive & empowering thoughts.

~ Dr. Sheryl L.W. Barnes, Life Coach – Author – Speaker

Sterling-Xavier Consulting Group

#DrSLWB     #ICoachRoyalty     #Elevate2015     #NewSeason4You

7 ways to maximize your ‘self-talk’


Are you using affirmations? If not – get started!

  1. Create your own affirmations – there are wonderful books, blogs, posts and websites that are full of motivational messages but none will be as effective for you as the ones you create for yourself!
  2. Write your affirmations in your own handwriting – studies show that our memory is affected when we ‘write things down in our own handwriting’ that is different from when we merely type or audio-record our thoughts. Use a journal, notepad or my personal favorite: index cards to capture your personal affirmations.
  3. Carry them with you – when you have small pockets of time while in line, waiting for a friend or even during a work break review your affirmations as often as possible throughout the day.
  4. Speak your affirmations out loud – I literally include affirmations on my daily To Do list as my first task each business day. I speak them aloud because It sets the tone and atmosphere.
  5. Speak your affirmations for 21 consecutive days – I’ve often heard it said that a new habit requires repetition over 21 days. Speaking life to your life certainly is a good habit to cultivate.
  6. Create affirmations to target specific issues – for example: if you’re committed to fitness, affirm that you make healthy food choices, workout, get enough rest and so forth. Be specific about what you envision for yourself.
  7. Elevate your affirmations to prophetic declarations – by anchoring them to Scriptures. Instead of simply saying “I can make it,” instead affirm “I can do all things through Christ who gives me the strength!”

~ Dr. Sheryl L.W. Barnes, CEO – Author – Life Coach – Speaker

Please visit my website to learn more about my services: Sterling-Xavier Consulting Group

#DrSLWB   #Elevate2015   #NewSeason4You   #ICoachRoyalty

Are your thoughts helping or hurting your success?

SOUL Secret #1

“As a man thinketh in his heart so is he!”

Pay Attention to Your Thoughts21 Soul Secrets

Just like a pot left boiling on the stove; a garden you’ve planted but won’t cultivate; or children you’ve been entrusted with caring for as their babysitter: if left unattended for too long your thoughts are likely to experience chaos, disorder or disaster!  To be successful you really MUST pay attention. For the next 3 or 4 days don’t do anything special except ‘listen’ to what you say in your head. Eavesdrop on your own thoughts, especially when you make a mistake, forget something or experience any type of disappointment. Do you call yourself ugly, self-deprecating names? Do you’ joke’ about being broke, fat, stupid, senile and so forth? Do you make non-empowering comments about yourself that on the surface seem harmless?  Spend some time ‘thinking about what you are thinking about’ and assess how positive or negative your thought life really is.

In your new state of hyper-vigilance, as soon as you catch yourself thinking something negative stop and immediately counter it!  Deliberately think a more positive version of the truth that you are addressing. Be on the lookout for words such as “always” or “never” because absolutes rarely exist.

That’s your first SOUL Secret assignment: police and guard your thoughts and do not hesitate to “arrest” negative interlopers that cannot take you to the place of wholeness and strength you’re headed to!

~ Dr. Sheryl L.W. Barnes, Life Coach – Author – Speaker

Sterling-Xavier Consulting Group